Self-care is the intentional act of protecting one’s own well-being and happiness, especially during times of stress. This begins with being kind to yourself. Society and family place a very huge expectation on women, and so we tend to be hard on ourselves and always blame ourselves when things don’t go as planned or as expected.
The concept of taking control of your needs and making yourself a priority can come across as being selfish, but it is far from it. You have to be well enough to take care of others. The fact remains, taking care of everyone eventually takes a toll on us, so it becomes important to take care of yourself.
There are levels (some call them pillars) of self-care. It cuts across your emotional, mental, physical, spiritual, and social being. Emotions have to do with feelings. Spirituality is your relationship with God. Physical has to do with your body, Mental has to do with your mind and thoughts. Social has to do with your relationship with the people around you.
From the moment you realise you’ve not been paying as much attention to yourself and not giving yourself the best, there are steps to take to help ease you into self-care routines until it becomes a lifestyle, starting in the area you need it the most. An extremely stressed-out individual may want to focus on getting more sleep, drinking more water, and eating good food. Walking helps clear the mind and gives clarity, so an anxious person may want to start here, to get them to relax and relieve tension. Seemingly little things like practising hygiene and taking a warm, relaxing bath are self-care at its finest.
Self-care for me includes a good book and music. Give me these two and my day is made. After my birthday last year, I just had this strong desire to wear more dresses going forward. And I kept to it. All the recent additions to my wardrobe have been dresses. It may not make sense to many but my mom gave birth to a tomboy 🙈. It’s been t-shirts and jeans year in and year out.
Recently, when I wear a beautiful gown, I just feel I’m loving myself right. It’s a beautiful feeling.
Early morning workouts are another thing I’ve gifted myself after long months of no physical exercise due to a lack of motivation. Your body will thank you for it in the long run. Self-care includes caring for your body cos, after all, you only have one body.
All these are possible when you do the following:
- Set goals and prioritise. Have in mind what you want to achieve and follow through.
- Focus on positivity. During workouts, when it gets tough, I tell myself things like, “This is a sign of my body getting stronger.” Being positive will keep you steadfast in your goals.
- Practice gratitude. Being grateful puts you in the right mood and attracts the best and your desires to you. I’m always grateful that I’m alive and well. And also grateful that my parents and children are doing good. This is always top on my gratitude list. Make a list if you like.
- Go for walks as often as you can. Asides the health benefits, walking helps you just slow down in today’s fast pace world to catch your breath. Makes you less anxious. Gives you clarity on how to handle situations and also helps relieve stress and clear your mind. I’m saying this one from experience.
*Taking a break from social media is very necessary from time to time, especially when there’s the need to shut down for a bit. Social media can be likened to a marketplace or a village square. Constantly being there will drain your batteries. To be able to shut down and recharge, taking breaks every now and then, becomes vital.
- Now this one here is a survival skill and works well for self-preservation. Avoid triggers. Anything that upsets you, brings out your vulnerable side and threatens your peace should be avoided at all costs. Sometimes, it’s people. Other times, it could be a situation. Find a way to avoid triggers as much as possible.
When there’s enough love and care on the inside, it has a way of bubbling up to the surface. The benefits of self-care include, but are not limited to:
- An improvement in your physical health.
- Reduction of stress and anxiety.
- Acceptance.
- Boost in self-esteem.
- Better relationships with others and more.
To make sure this works 100%, ensure you
- Stop comparing yourself to others. Everyone has their race to run. Focus on yours.
- Do not worry about people’s opinions of you. Remember everyone will have an opinion, no matter what you do.
- Let go of toxic people. People who drain you and add no value, whatsoever. Let them go.
- Add value to yourself. If there’s anything you’d love to learn how to do, go ahead and learn it. The joy you experience being able to do something you’ve always wanted to do is beautiful.
- Enjoy the little things. For me, being able to accomplish daily tasks does it for me. And also being left alone so my mind can wander off to several places is priceless.
- Put yourself first. This is practically what self-care is about. It’s ok to not want what others want for you. It’s ok to not allow yourself to be pressured into doing something you don’t want to do.
- Joy Mfon Essien is an Entrepreneur and the CEO, of Discover Essence Media, Millionaire Woman Soapworks and Delicioso Foods. Writer, TV presenter and producer, Wellness Coach and mom of two.
