The birth of a daughter in a family is believed to usher in blessings to the home. I have seen this to be true over and over again. Families have admitted to experiencing a financial boost when this happens. Daughters also tend to take great care of their fathers in their old age. But before then, they’re seen to spread the love around in the home, making sure everyone feels loved and cared for.
But as this daughter grows up, she somehow seems to become the most misunderstood child.
If you’ve ever met a lady with zero tolerance for bullshit, who is impatient, aggressive with no filter, and at the same time motherly, homely and responsible, then you’re most likely dealing with a first daughter.
Understanding her persona will include going back in time to her childhood to understand, thereby being able to function in her space.
They’re usually stubborn. And I don’t mean surface stubbornness. I’m talking about a hidden iron will, like the mountain that can never be moved except that with the right passwords, it can actually be moved.
Not many have what it takes to handle a first daughter. Know this and know peace. Many do not understand them so you’re either in or out. Hopefully, by the end of this article, you’ll have a deeper understanding of first daughters.
From a tender age, they’re already prepared for leadership. They’re not taught theory but practicals. They live it daily. Looking out for the younger ones, ensuring everyone is ok, and even sacrificing little ‘enjoyments’ for younger siblings. They have been graced with the ability to bring everyone together, but if you annoy them, they can also pull the rug from under everyone’s feet.
In romantic relationships, you will never get the same dating experience you’ve had with a last-born or middle child with a firstborn. They will not massage your ego, and they will call foolishness by name. I have to pause and laugh here. It’s wild, I know.
Their sacrificing threshold is perhaps their Achilles heel. They never know when to step on the brakes. There’s no threshold, because they don’t always know when or where to draw the line. Remember, they were raised to put everyone first. As resources come in, they very easily give them out to family needs. Life experiences may modify this sacrificial aspect of their lives, but there’s always some hidden away.
Their high sense of responsibility makes them dependable. Being in control is a trademark because they were taught to always be in control. Fiercely independent, and perfectionism is their wiring.
Their ability to adapt, think critically and empathize makes them natural leaders.
First daughters do not easily fall in love. In fact the history of their romantic relationships can be likened to a messy punch card. Relinquishing control is never easy. Sometimes, we forget the man is not our child and tend to baby him. It’s even sadder when they tend to keep attracting men who like to be treated like babies. These men will in turn treat you like their mother and that’s when things get really bad.
As a first daughter myself, I’d like to quickly add that we love compliance and order. We can’t stand chaos or any form of disorder. We are organised individuals.
- Joy Mfon Essien is an Entrepreneur and the CEO, of Discover Essence Media, Millionaire Woman Soapworks and Delicioso Foods. Writer, TV presenter and producer, Wellness Coach and mom of two.
