A few weeks ago, my daughter was assigned the task of giving a 5-minute charge in church, and she was encouraged to choose her preferred topic. So, I immediately got to work with her.
Together, we listed five topics, and I allowed her to choose the one she was most comfortable speaking on. From time to time, I would check in with her to see if she was okay, if she was nervous, and so on. Every time I did this, I always got that look from her, like, “What’s the big deal? What’s there to be nervous about?” So, I stopped worrying.
I always get nervous before I take the stage for any speaking engagement—tense, uncertain, with a trembling voice and sweaty palms. But a few minutes after my opening lines, I relax, even crack jokes, and engage my audience. Despite the fear, I’m always able to deliver, and this is because I also started my career in public speaking as a child facing a congregation. I never got scared and ran off the stage. I never forgot my lines, and I never messed up my presentations. Never.
These days, we’re even lucky to have PowerPoint and projectors that act as guides. Back then, it was all in your head, and you had to bring it on.
The moment I realized my daughter wasn’t battling any of the things I personally struggled with, I relaxed, stopped worrying, and just let her be. As it turned out, she was a natural on stage. Her confidence was so obvious, and at the end, she received a standing ovation from the pastor and the entire church.
It was an inspiring and humbling proud mom moment. I quickly snatched it and tucked it away somewhere in the deepest recesses of my heart.
Smart Conversations
In this article, I’ll be sharing quick tips on building self-confidence for public speaking in children. The best time for this kind of grooming is when they’re young, but no pressure at all. If you make it stressful and pressuring, you’ll kill that desire.
Kids are naturally inquisitive. They’re constantly trying to understand the world, life, people… so their questions are endless, and you must answer them. Thankfully, I haven’t yet reached the stage where I can’t answer their questions. The more you answer, the more questions they’ll ask, and the more their confidence will grow. Information breeds confidence. So, answer their questions, tell stories, and exhaust all possible explanations until you’re convinced they’ve understood.
Build that Relationship
Except when discipline is required and I need to be firm and decisive, I never treat my kids as kids. I treat them as contemporaries. This means I explain my actions and thoughts. I apologize when I’m wrong, and I acknowledge where I’ve made a mistake. I show them I’m human. I talk to them like adults. I ask their opinions; I like to know their thoughts. I like to be sure at every point that we’re on the same page. I try to get them to express themselves with clarity, and when they do, I pay attention and take them seriously—the way you would take your contemporaries seriously. As they become more comfortable relating and speaking with you this way, they’ll relate to other adults in the same manner. This, in itself, is a giant confidence booster. To my daughter, the audience she spoke to was just like her mom, whom she speaks with daily.
Practice, Practice, Practice
I ensured she took out 30 minutes every day for two weeks to perfect what she was going to say. I also spared a few minutes to tweak and rearrange her sentences so they would sound their best, but I made sure not to overshadow her personality and style. So, while I checked in every now and then, I also made sure to step back and let her express herself in her own way.
Connect With the Audience
It’s very important in public speaking to connect with your audience. Since she was speaking to adults in this case, I ensured she used analogies and examples that adults could relate to, but this time, through the eyes of a child. This was the beautiful icing that brought everything together.
Discuss Books
I don’t just buy them books and tell them to read; I also get them to discuss what they’re reading. This boosts their presentation and narration skills as they describe the content in their own words and understanding. It helps in the long run whenever they have to express themselves or talk to a group of people.
As in writing, in public speaking, there’s a beginning, a body, and a conclusion. Being conscious of this keeps you organised and shows others you know what you’re doing.
