Asides from the fact that having your children share in house chores helps relieve you of some stress, it also has numerous benefits for the kids which many may not be aware of. Sometimes we feel they’re too young and shouldn’t be bothered. Other times we feel like it’s okay and we can handle it but before you know it, these kids who grow up so fast, by the way, are all grown and do not easily warm up to chores. You also grow a little older and don’t feel as energetic as you used to feel, which you can do with any help you can get. So, don’t love them too much, to your own detriment and theirs too. My mom has this saying: Work doesn’t kill anyone.
Higher Self Esteem
There are numerous advantages and rewards children reap from doing chores, and a boost in self-esteem and confidence are some of them.
When kids are assigned tasks and they accomplish them, it boosts their self-esteem. That feeling of starting something and completing it is better experienced than explained. It also makes them more responsible, makes you more confident in their abilities, and assigns them more tasks.
Equipped to Face Challenges and More
In the process of doing chores, team spirit is built, delegation is learned, and working together is realised. They also learn to ask each other for help. Coming together to achieve a goal is easily learned here. Delayed gratification is also mastered as chores are prioritised, after which they can go play or rest. They learn to manage relationships and frustrations, which eventually serve as life lessons.
Sticks Through Life
The earlier they learn, the easier and better. The teen years aren’t the easiest time for both teens and parents, so the moulding has to happen before this time. As kids, the first chores can easily be picking up toys and taking their plates to the kitchen after eating. Even helping you out in the kitchen, like joining you to put away groceries and rinsing fruits with you, is good.
Once they get to the age where they start bathing themselves, they can start doing their dishes too.
If you face any initial resistance, consider the following options: This first one works like magic.
Let Them See That Other Kids Are Doing It Too
I gave my son a boiled egg to peel one day and he refused, saying he couldn’t do it. A few days later, I showed him a video of a child almost half his age doing it and that was all the inspiration he needed to give it a try. The next day, he was peeling his egg.
Another time, my daughter’s friend came to visit when I brought out beans to pick. I got a phone call and dropped the tray of beans to go answer the call in my room. When I came out to continue, I saw that my daughter’s friend had carried the tray and had almost finished picking the beans. Now, my daughter at this time didn’t pick beans at home because somehow I never thought of involving her in the process. Her friend did it so excellently that it was obvious this wasn’t her first time. Long story short, whenever I want to cook beans now, my daughter looks forward to picking beans. She’s been doing it excitedly. All because she saw her friend do it with ease.
Once children see other kids doing chores, they are inspired to do it too.
Start With Easy-to-Accomplish Chores
I already mentioned this lightly somewhere up there. From little things to not-so-little things, by the time a child can bathe himself, which is anytime from seven years, they can wash their little plates and spoons. Wash their socks and underwear too, and do a little sweeping. Plus, make their beds. Remember, I said work doesn’t kill anyone? At 10 years of age, they can start learning how to cook. If you doubt me, watch Chopped Junior on Food Network and notice the ages of the kid chefs.
Offer Rewards
Incentives always work magic. Even organisations have reward systems to make employees feel appreciated and motivated. Younger children appreciate hugs, kisses and praises. The not-so-young may appreciate cookies or a fun outing. Older kids will appreciate tips 😂😂😂. You’re free to be creative. You know what your kids would love and appreciate.
Make It Fun
Once work time is made to look like a fun time, kids will embrace it and see it as a fun way to live life. Fun can also mean working together. Not you not doing anything while they work. This will make it easily into a time for bonding. I usually tell stories at this time. Or share life lessons.
It’s important to note that patience is necessary at the early stage. If you stop them because they mess up the kitchen while learning, you’ll be discouraging them. Kindly note that messes will be made but learning will also be achieved in the process.
- Joy Mfon Essien is an Entrepreneur and the CEO, Discover Essence Media, Millionaire Woman Soapworks and Delicioso Foods. Writer, TV presenter and producer, Wellness Coach and mom of two.
Very informative writeup. We have to be intentional and proactive as parents because quite often we can get overwhelmed with work, and fail to realise how grown and potentially responsible our kids are but leave them out of chores because we rather do them or get the maid to do it. Sometimes it’s just due to the urgency of cooking, we just want to get it done fast and won’t want them to slow us down. Intentionality would make us device another approach like picking beans when we don’t have to cook but to engage them and learn.
For me, I was very particular about how dishes are done so I found it hard to allow my kids do it because it has to be squeaky clean even when palm or groundnut oil was used in cooking. I found myself washing the dishes again but later realised that they saw me do that and it didn’t help their confidence. I had to look away for a while till they got better at it. I think some of us can’t remember our learning curve, we just assume that since we started a chore at a certain age then we had always been good at it. We fail to realise that we perfected it over time.
Still working on my obsessive way of how things get done but definitely better now.