Family & Kids Featured Life Notes Ugoma Johnson

The danger of parental irresponsibility – How to start uncomfortable conversations with your child

Reading Time: 3 minutes
Ugoma By Ugoma Johnson

As a social worker, I’ve noticed that youngsters who are left to fend for themselves without parental direction frequently make AVOIDABLE blunders.

Many parents avoid having lengthy parent-to-child dialogues, especially when it comes to sexual issues. Most children are left to find answers to the many questions that may be bothering them about sex and sexuality issues because most parents are shy about discussing such topics, while others consider it absurd to do so because sex is a sensitive subject that should never be discussed around children.

Parents must abandon the notion that such discussions with their children are inappropriate.

That is the attitude of an ignoramus.


When preteens/teenagers start asking me specific questions, I know their parents haven’t been sex-educating them or are teaching them the wrong thing.

I understand that youngsters are typically inquisitive; but, I am old enough to recognise when a child is probing into an issue to add to what he or she has already been taught and when the question is coming from a position of pure ignorance.

“Aunty Ugo, what is sex?”

“Is it true, Aunty Ugo, that when a boy touches me, I shall become pregnant?”


“Aunty Ugo, is it improper to have a crush on a girl?”

“Aunty Ugo, is it possible to prevent sexual immorality?”

“Is it true, Aunty Ugo, that a woman on her period cannot become pregnant if she has sex?”

“Is it true, Aunty Ugo, that frequent sex can help you get rid of acne or pimples?”


Aunty Ugo this, Aunty Ugo that…Bla Bla Bla.

I’ve had many times where preteens or teens ask me specific questions and I just know straight up that the parents have created a discussion gap that only outsiders or peers can cover at that point, and additional inquisitiveness often proves me correct.

This parental carelessness is why many children, particularly teenagers, seek solutions from outsiders or peers and, in most cases, are deceived. The risks of allowing your children to fend for themselves without parental supervision are so numerous that I cannot even begin to enumerate them. Miscreants and decadent youths are frequently born during this process of seeking solutions from strangers.

In all honesty, I consider it an act of irresponsibility on the part of any parent who chooses not to have these conversations with their children for whatever reason. I agree that starting a conversation with a youngster about these things can be difficult at first, but it should never deter any parent who sincerely wants to raise a good child (ren).


But is the subject of sex really so complicated? Of course, it is.

Is there a method for parents to sex-educate their children without damaging their minds? Absolutely.

There are numerous techniques that parents can use to initiate discussions about sex and other sensitive issues. In this week’s LM edition of FAMILY & KIDS SEGMENT, I’d like to discuss two practical ways that parents might start these dialogues.

Are you ready to accompany me on this exciting journey? If you’re ready, yell YAAAAAAAAAA! Let’s go!

Read and review books on related topics together

This is a fantastic approach to starting a dialogue with your youngster. Reading and discussing books together helps to relieve tension on both your and the child’s sides.

At that point, it is no longer you forcing yourself to say something, but rather both of you building on an already formed basis.

Making this procedure fun is one method to attain life-changing results. You can do this over a snack, or you can take the youngster to a peaceful, entertaining, but not distracting location. The more enjoyable you make the reading/review process, the less stressed you both will be and the more willing the child will be to express himself/herself. This can also be a time for your child to open up to you about their challenges and misunderstandings, but it all relies on how fascinating you make it.

Ask funny but important questions

This is another technique for parents and teachers to establish a conversation with their wards.

Don’t be too serious all of the time; try to crack jokes with your children. Take a breather from your seriousness; your home is not a military zone. Pose questions like, “What do you think about a teenager having a boyfriend/girlfriend?” or “How do you believe having a lover can effect a teenager’s performance in school?”

Simply think of any question that is appropriate for their age and ask it in such a way that they will respond with reasons or explanations, but do not ask in such a way that the child feels you want to indirectly know if they are engaging in such behaviours. Depending on how you approach it, questions can be an effective method to start a conversation.

I hope you try these tactics if you’ve been struggling to establish talks with your wards.

I can assure you that it will be beneficial. Besides, you’ll never know what works unless you try.


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