Family & Kids Featured Life Notes Ugoma Johnson

There’s nothing shameful about being a virgin

Ugoma By Ugoma Johnson

It often baffles me how people are shamed and talked down on when they openly admit that they are virgins. I mean, it is okay to feel uneasy for whatever reason best known to you when people around you proudly talk about their virginity, especially if you have offered yours on a platter of gold. But to shame others for being proud of their virginity or trying to trash-talk them is utterly unacceptable.

If it is okay for you as an unmarried fellow to indulge in sexual escapades and have the audacity to talk about it openly, what on this planet makes you think that virgins should not have even more chutzpah to spread the news of their virginity? Answer me. 🙄

A guy/lady gets marries as a virgin and makes a post on social media to encourage others that sexual abstinence is possible and also to thank God who helped him/her to overcome all the sexual temptations that come with singlehood, then some people who probably have never commented on the person’s posts in the past will suddenly crawl out from their shells 🐌 to comment rubbish.

While some are reminding him/her that virginity is not an achievement, others will say that it’s not a big deal. Like seriously, did you just say it’s not a big deal? Wow! Okay, let me ask you this question, since it’s not a big deal, what happened to your virginity? (Silence envelops the atmosphere immediately) 😂

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The set of people whose comments always freaks me out are those set of commenters who say things like “abeg make we hear word, the fact that you kept your virginity till marriage is not an assurance that your marriage will last or become blissful.”

Osheyy, commenter commenting on zero sense, since eschewing premarital sex does not assure one of a lasting and blissful marriage, what then does? Oya, take this 🎤 and tell us, we, your listeners are waiting.😠

You see yourself, till now you have not been able to tell us what makes marriage lasting and blissful.
It’s so saddening to know that the world we live in now is no longer what it used to be. Things that people would do in the past and hide their faces in shame even without anybody shaming them are now the same things that the world applauds.

While the very things that people used to be commended for doing in the past are now the same things that they are shamed for doing.

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The world has so deteriorated to the point that most people are no longer proud to stand for what is morally upright. If you are not corrupt, people will think you are foolish, when you condemn what is wrong, people feel you are out of your mind, and when you refuse to join the crowd, they call you a “jew” guy/girl (a world used to mean that a person is behind in civilisation).

The world, especially this generation has gone crazy with moral decadence. Younger people are becoming more delinquent by the day and it breaks my heart that some adults who should be calling them to order are rather out to treat with contempt those who are putting in the effort do better.

Dear Youngling…

I know how hard you are fighting to keep your head above the water regardless of all the challenges that life keeps throwing at you, I know how many forces are fighting to have your head and I want to let you know that I see all the effort you make daily to not let them win over you.

I know how you are being shamed whenever you try to celebrate your virginity, I know how they try to make you dummy up in other to drown you with stories of their sexual escapades and wayward lifestyle.

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But I am here to encourage you to never let them win over you.

There is nothing shameful about being a virgin and choosing to not rubbish your body. It’s called self-respect, and for me, choosing to not let people use your body as a tool for sexual experimentation is the highest form of self-respect.

Keep doing the right thing, heaven is seeing you and you will be duly rewarded for it.
Be bold when you talk about it, and be proud of it. Virginity is a virtue. It is, that’s why you must learn to be proud of it.

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