By Joy Essien, Contributing Editor, Lagos Metropolitan.
As we’re already in the season of giving and receiving gifts, it’s very likely that there would be a few misses and some gifts may not be exact hits. I have once written about the best ways to gift, factors to consider et al. Now, we’re looking at how to accept gifts that are clear misses.
Giving gifts are an integral part of many cultures but it can get tricky if the recipient is not happy with the present. Knowing how to navigate such situations graciously is important to avoid awkwardness and keep relationships intact.
- Express Gratitude First.
Always start by thanking the giver for their thoughfulness. Even if you don’t like the gift, acknowledging their effort and intention is important. A simple "Thank you for thinking of me" can go a long way in diffusing any potential tension. This sets a positive tone for the conversation and shows respect for their gesture, regardless of your personal preference.
- Be Honest But Tactful.
If you feel uncomfortable, you can gently express your feelings about the gift. However, it is important to be tactful and considerate in your approach. Use "I" Statements to focus on your preferences rather than criticising the gift itself. For example, "I appreciate your choice, but I usually prefer more neutral colors." This way, you get to convey your thoughts without offending anyone.
- Suggest Alternatives Politely.
This is based on the type of relationship, though. For certain kinds of relationships, it may not be appropriate. If it is appropriate, suggest alternatives that might suit you better in the future. You should mention items or experiences that align more closely with your taste or needs. Frame it as a way to get to know you better rather than a complaint about their current choices. This way, you can help them understand what you like without putting them off from gifting again.
- Offer to Exchange or Donate.
Again, this is based on the personality and relationship. If you’re not comfortable enough to, then discard but if it’s within your comfort zone, you can offer to exchange or donate an unwanted gift. Politely explain that while you appreciate the gesture, you think someone else might benefit more from it or that it doesn’t quite fit your needs at this time. This way, you can ensure the gift is put to good use without hurting the giver’s feelings.
- Focus on Shared Experiences.
Shift focus from material gifts to shared experiences that strengthen bonds between you and the giver. Suggest spending time together doing something enjoyable as an alternative form of gifting that emphasises connection over possessions. This way, both parties feel valued without getting caught up in material exchanges that may not always align perfectly with individual preferences.
