Some years ago, on the Oprah Winfrey Show, one of the guests was talking about children and how they handled bullying and how parents could step in, and she told parents that whenever their kids returned from school, after asking how their day went, we should ask direct questions like, “Did anyone bully you today?” She said little kids who are bullied in school don’t tell their parents. They don’t talk about it at all and it’s sad. Even worse is the fact that many parents will never know. Sometimes, it’s not just their mates or seniors bullying them, it’s their teachers and even coaches.
I shared an experience with fellow moms and one of the moms present said her child was an introvert, and even if she asked about a thing, he wouldn’t say anything, no matter how much she pressed. My son came home from school some days ago and reported an incident between a teacher and his sitting mate in class and I was appalled. I had to find a way to report to the boy’s father, who in turn took it up with the school management. Now after I mentioned it to him, he repeated the same thing the mom up there said. “He’s an introvert. He doesn’t talk much, even at home.”
I have an introverted side so I also understand certain things about introverts and one of them is that you can’t make them say anything if they don’t want to. It’s just their nature but a few things will suffice.
- First off, as I just mentioned above, you’ll first have to get over yourself and then accept and embrace them as they are. The last thing you want to do is handle it as an abnormality that needs to be fixed.
- Do not force interactions. Don’t always insist they talk to you or go play with anyone or force them to get along with anyone. Respecting their need for privacy is important. Give them space to be themselves and do things their way. Yes, they have their way of doing things, a prism through which they view life.
- Find out their area of strength and help them build on them. Many introverts have very busy minds and active imaginations. They may appear quiet on the outside, but there’s an ocean of activities going on inside.
A lot of them are creatives. Great composers, writers, actors, artists, comedians, craftsmen, and more.
After finding out their strengths, encourage and support them because these will help provide a platform for self-expression. - I learned that telling them stories of my introverted side is always a hit. They understand it and can relate. It also helps them see they’re not weird and boosts their confidence.
- Lastly and most importantly, talk with them for at least 15 minutes a day. What many do not know is that introverts are actually great with one-on-one conversations. This is where you’ll see their playful side. I tell you, introverts can be quite a handful and fun to be with. They just can’t handle a crowd or group. Once they get used to you, they’re the ones who’ll start seeking you out just to hang out and talk. And yes, they make great and very deep, intelligent contributions to conversations.
- Joy Mfon Essien is an Entrepreneur and the CEO, of Discover Essence Media, Millionaire Woman Soapworks and Delicioso Foods. Writer, TV presenter and producer, Wellness Coach and mom of two.
